You Were Born Either A Leader Or A Follower. The One You Pick Says It All.

 

You Were Born Either a Leader or a Follower. The One You Pick Says It All.

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From the moment we enter the world, we are placed into systems—families, schools, cultures, workplaces—that subtly and not-so-subtly shape how we see ourselves. Somewhere along the way, a powerful idea takes root: some people lead, and some people follow. This belief becomes a quiet force guiding decisions, ambitions, fears, and identities. But is leadership something you are born with, or is it something you choose? And if the choice is yours, what does that say about who you are?

The statement “You were born either a leader or a follower. The one you pick says it all” is provocative for a reason. It challenges comfort, confronts passivity, and forces self-examination. It isn’t really about destiny at birth—it’s about agency. It’s about whether you live life on default settings or take responsibility for shaping your direction.

This essay explores the meaning behind leadership and followership, dismantles common myths, and ultimately argues that while circumstances influence us, the identity we adopt—and reinforce through our actions—is a choice. And that choice reveals everything about how we face life.

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The Myth of Being “Born” One Way

The idea that people are born leaders or followers is seductive because it removes responsibility. If leadership is innate, then those who don’t lead are excused. If followership is destiny, then ambition becomes optional.

But human development tells a different story.

No baby is born leading. No infant emerges with a vision statement, a strategic plan, or the confidence to command others. What we are born with are temperaments, strengths, fears, and potential. Leadership is not a gene—it is a pattern of behavior shaped by environment, encouragement, discipline, and choice.

History confirms this. Many of the world’s most influential leaders began as shy, uncertain, or overlooked individuals:

• Abraham Lincoln failed repeatedly before leading a nation.

• Oprah Winfrey was told she was unfit for television.

• Nelson Mandela spent decades imprisoned before becoming a global symbol of leadership.

They were not born leaders. They became leaders by choosing responsibility over resignation.

So if leadership isn’t predetermined, why does the idea persist?

Because it’s easier to believe you were assigned a role than to admit you accepted one.

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What It Really Means to Be a Follower

Before dismissing followership, it’s important to clarify something: following is not inherently bad.

Healthy societies require cooperation. Teams require people who can execute, support, and contribute without always being in charge. Learning from others is essential. Even great leaders must follow at times—follow principles, mentors, values, or a mission greater than themselves.

But there is a critical distinction between conscious followership and passive submission.

Conscious Followers:

• Choose who and what they follow

• Think critically

• Contribute ideas

• Act with integrity

• Can step into leadership when required

Passive Followers:

• Avoid responsibility

• Wait for instructions

• Fear standing out

• Blame others for outcomes

• Trade freedom for comfort

The problem is not following—it’s never questioning, never initiating, and never taking ownership.

When people say “I’m just a follower,” what they often mean is:

• “I don’t want to be blamed.”

• “I don’t want to risk failing.”

• “I don’t trust myself enough to decide.”

That is not followership. That is fear disguised as humility.

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Leadership Is Responsibility, Not Status

One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that it requires a title. Manager. CEO. Founder. President. But leadership is not about position—it’s about behavior.

Leadership is:

• Speaking up when silence is easier

• Acting when others hesitate

• Taking responsibility when things go wrong

• Making decisions without guarantees

• Serving a purpose larger than ego

A leader doesn’t wait to be chosen. A leader chooses to act.

You can lead:

• In your family

• In your workplace

• In your community

• In your mindset

• In your personal standards

You lead every time you take ownership of your actions instead of blaming circumstances.

You lead every time you say, “I’ll handle this,” instead of “That’s not my problem.”

You lead every time you decide to improve rather than complain.

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The Psychology of Avoiding Leadership

If leadership is so powerful, why do so many people avoid it?

Because leadership is uncomfortable.

Leadership exposes you. It invites criticism. It requires decisions without perfect information. It demands accountability. And most importantly, it removes excuses.

Followers can say:

• “I was just doing what I was told.”

• “That decision wasn’t mine.”

• “I had no control.”

Leaders don’t get that luxury.

When things go wrong, leaders can’t hide.

That reality scares people—not because they are incapable, but because they are afraid of:

• Failing publicly

• Being judged

• Being rejected

• Being alone in decision-making

So they choose safety. They choose predictability. They choose to blend in.

And over time, that choice becomes an identity.

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The Cost of Choosing to Follow by Default

Choosing followership by default—rather than by intention—comes with a cost.

1. Lost Potential

When you never challenge yourself to lead, you never discover what you’re capable of. Potential unused doesn’t disappear—it turns into regret.

2. Dependency

Passive followers become dependent on systems, people, or approval. When those systems fail, they feel powerless.

3. Resentment

Over time, unexpressed ambition often turns into resentment—toward leaders, institutions, or “the system.”

4. A Smaller Life

Not in money or status, but in agency. Life feels like something that happens to you instead of something you shape.

None of these outcomes happen overnight. They accumulate quietly, choice by choice.

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Leadership Begins With Self-Leadership

The most important form of leadership is not leading others—it’s leading yourself.

Self-leadership means:

• Controlling your reactions

• Managing your habits

• Taking responsibility for your growth

• Acting in alignment with your values

• Doing what needs to be done even when no one is watching

Before you can lead people, you must lead your:

• Time

• Energy

• Emotions

• Discipline

• Integrity

Many people want to lead others without first mastering themselves. That leads to fragile leadership—based on ego rather than substance.

True leadership is built from the inside out.

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You Pick Every Day

Here’s the truth most people avoid:

You don’t pick “leader” or “follower” once. You pick it every day.

You pick it when:

• You speak up—or stay silent

• You take initiative—or wait

• You learn—or stagnate

• You accept responsibility—or deflect it

• You act—or rationalize inaction

Leadership is not a personality trait. It’s a pattern of choices.

And those choices compound.

Small acts of leadership—done consistently—reshape identity.

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Why This Choice “Says It All”

The reason this choice says everything about you is because it reveals your relationship with:

Responsibility

Do you accept it or avoid it?

Fear

Do you confront it or let it decide for you?

Control

Do you believe you have agency, or do you believe life controls you?

Growth

Do you stretch or stay comfortable?

Choosing leadership doesn’t mean dominating others. It means owning your life.

Choosing passive followership doesn’t mean you’re weak. But staying there by default means you’ve surrendered your potential.

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The World Needs More Leaders—Quiet Ones Too

Leadership doesn’t always look loud or charismatic.

The world also needs:

• The leader who listens

• The leader who mentors quietly

• The leader who builds systems

• The leader who sets standards through example

• The leader who does the right thing without recognition

Leadership is not about attention—it’s about impact.

And impact doesn’t require permission.